Fire Within chapter 11

what is the gift of wisdom?

Fire Within: Teresa of Avila, John of the Cross and the Gospel on Prayer (Fr. Thomas Dubay, S.M.) https://ignatius.com/fire-within-fwp/

(If you are catching up: chapter 1, chapter 2, chapter 3, chapter 4, chapter 5, chapter 6, chapter 7, chapter 8, chapter 9, chapter 10)

Chapter 11 “The Universal Call”

Here I am, Lord, and it is Thursday already (I meant to start yesterday [on the feast of St Matthias, apostle, after Mass; however I did not make time on Wednesday]) and I could not find my breviary this morning when I left to pray in church before Mass so here we are [i.e. I brought Fire Within instead to get a start on this post]... The author gives some reasons for this chapter and what stands out to me is the 4th one: that if we know we are called to a thing then we are more likely to pursue it seriously: if I am confident this is what God wants of me then I do not waste time... the author says specifically that we are then more willing to pay the price (what price for salvation?!) and St John of the Cross says the reason many enter the first night (the stealthy beginning of infused contemplation) and few enter the second is that the others are not willing — what I want, Lord, is to love You as You deserve (which is to say whole-heartedly — You want this for us b/c it is the only way for us to be happy: how can a person be happy if he or she is of divided mind whether to be happy)

(but I want to love You with my whole heart because this is justice) ... and because You are so deserving of love I want everyone, everyone, to love You as You deserve: but how can they if they do not know You? if they do not know Your great goodness? It is not enough to tell someone in words — paper [crossed out and “a log” written above “paper”] does not catch on fire by being written on, but by being placed in fire. If someone sees candy through a store window how would they hunger for it if they have never tasted sweetness? [Chocolate in particular might as well be a mud pie.] If they saw a bright colored lollipop and did not know that it is theirs if they walk into the store and put their money on the counter —?

I can’t find any way to write about it that makes sense. “The kingdom of heaven is like...” (6:57 am) The point is, anyone can walk into the candy store if he or she is willing to give in return what is the price of happiness ([happiness] now, in this life, and [happiness in] the life to come.) it is not only “for adults”. [Daily Mass happened next.]

(7:29 am) The rich young man was a child with a piggy bank at home — the kind with only a slot for coins — walking into the candy store he is told he can buy the store with [i.e. and] its contents for only what he has in his piggy bank ... perhaps five dollars in loose change ... but he is not willing to smash the pig.

how hard it is! but can he eat the china pig? no; it is dead weight. but he clings to it and sinks. I think I have gone off track.

The way to become a saint is by wanting to. I think this is well-established. God (that is You, Lord) — You have created us for this purpose and You want to be permitted to make us into saints. We ought not to settle for being told that we are not called to this and only have to be nice... not holy. Who is holy but You? And what are we but Your children? And what are we told to do but to imitate You? Be holy as You are holy; be perfect (finished, a work of art) as You are perfect; if is You who achieve this in us, with our earnest cooperation. You do not have two kinds of children, because You Yourself are simple. We are called to be like Christ, members of His body and He is not a statue made of “gold, silver, bronze, iron mixed with tile”... we are not called to be clay tile, or iron... we are called to radiate His love (Your love) in the world... like a radiator in a house, filled with the hottest of water, conducts heat, being made of metal, a conductor of heat, but when not filled with hot water, of its own it can do nothing; and when filled with the hottest of water how can it not warm the room? The radiator, long disused, has to consent to being “bled” because it is full partly of air; [this winter I asked the landlord in to bleed one of the upstairs radiators which was warm only in its bottom half, and doing its job very poorly, and then he had to adjust the pressure in the basement, and since he is a chemical engineer who will talk to anyone willing to take an interest, I also learned e.g. why the water in this system turned black and not rust-red] ; and it has to remain connected to the pipes that go to the water heater in the basement. A radiator on its own is fit only for being set on the curb for the bulk trash pickup day; it is an oddly shaped piece of metal that has no other use.

And without it, how cold is the house!!

... The ones at Old St. Pat’s, Lord, are steam radiators (mine at home are not) and too hot to touch when “on” [but otherwise similar: without steam they do nothing but take up space; with steam inside, which they do not produce themselves but receive, they radiate heat and do their job]. There are not two kinds of human soul, one shaped like a radiator and the other like ... I don’t know... a shovel, or whatever You like... and there are not two kinds of radiators, those intended to be connected to the system in a house to heat a room (whatever room they are placed in) and those intended to sit in a warehouse connected to nothing... that would be silly. Union of will is the common human destiny, I don’t think destiny is the right word; the common-to-all vocation. [possibly τελος]

But as it is, we are connected to the heating system in the house; we are only full mostly of air. This is a problem You are prepared to deal with, Lord, and how can it happen that a radiator from which the air is bled (through the valve at the top) would not be filled immediately with hot water (supposing the rest of the heating system works)? “Nature abhors a vacuum” [this goes back to Aristotle apparently] and the pressure of the water (which is adjusted by a control in the basement) is what forces the air out when the valve is open: this pressure of God desiring to fill us with His fullness is what drives the asceticism of a saint: discarding empty wind: vanity of vanities: to be filled with the water of life (Lord this metaphor is absurd but that is the house I live in: radiator heat in the winter.) [Then I went home and was very busy Thursday and Friday.]

— Now it is Saturday already, Lord! [moreover it is afternoon!] When I went to confession (it was a visiting priest this morning and I do not know, or do not remember, his name) I received also advice (briefly) which was, this week, to ask (in prayer) for the gift of wisdom. After my penance I looked up what this gift does because I do not remember technical things for more than five minutes (it seems) — I have an e-book of Spiritual Theology (Aumann) where it is the last section in Chapter 10; and, just now at home, I also looked it up in The Sanctifier (Martinez) b/c that book caught my eye. (I had actually been going to find a book on Revelation b/c the Office of Readings this week has been Revelation in the first reading, but something explaining the readings at daily Mass in the second reading.)

We all have the gift of wisdom, having been baptized (and confirmed) but we do not always take an interest in letting God do anything with it... the chapter in ST explains (for various gifts [of the Holy Spirit]) what it does — what it is for — which ought to cause us to want that — and then [the chapter] lists how we might dispose ourselves to receive that.

This is very practical + I endorse it, Lord, but also, although I copied that section out into my journal [at about 10:15am], it has run out of my head like water, so You are going to have to do everything. If You wanted me to remember it You would not fill my head w/ fog. Maybe, at least, I will remember to ask for the gift of wisdom and to desire it.

Is this even relevant to the chapter at hand (The Universal Call)? Absolutely b/c it is the most solid technical argument for it. The gift of wisdom is the technical thing that makes contemplation go (vroom). Everyone has it by baptism. So it would be daft to say that only some people are called to contemplation and to taste God in His goodness (cf. St. Augustine “late have I loved You” ff.) No so-called second baptism or stirring up of the Spirit is necessary, but rather the amendment of one’s life and the earnest effort to give up attachment to created things that we love more than we love God.

And, Lord, this is something that You commanded us to do: You did not say “John, I command you to love God above all other things; Mary of Bethany, I command you likewise; Peter and Martha, it is enough for you to be good to your neighbor and to preach the Gospel but you will be too busy to love God with your whole heart, banishing from its dark corners your love of comfort and of being admired (what a good hostess!) and of being a provider (such a diligent fisherman!) ... for you these are okay.” You did not say this; when the rich young man’s face fell in dejection (as much as you have, get rid of, [...] follow me? — Lord, we have left everything [Mark 10:28]) You did not say to Your anxious audience (how hard it is for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven!) that, all things being possible for God, You will be content with less than our entire heart; all things being possible, as far as I can tell from my own life, means that You will get a food in the door if allowed to, and then You will embark on an epic campaign of spring-cleaning the heart, being content w/ nothing less than all. It is possible to refuse You entrance; it is possible [also] to string one’s heart with POLICE LINE DO NOT CROSS tape, having allowed You to enter; You are the party guest allowed into the clean living room, but not back to the kitchen and absolutely not the upstairs bedrooms where the doors are closed. (Then [because I had not yet finished reading the chapter in Fire Within] I tried to read this quote “The soul united and transformed in God...” and I had to stop for a while.)(“she” in this quote is the soul.)

[A little later] “The more you want Me near you the nearer I’ll be” — my son’s phone alarm is playing Sesame Street songs [and I habitually interpret most songs as a conversation between the soul and God if this is reasonable to do], currently “Living Hand in Hand”, about friendship; what we are called to is friendship with You.

[A video of it on Youtube, although his phone was playing a studio recording in a music album which sounded better.]

[Later in the playlist: “I refuse to sing along” ]

Lord, like Ernie You invite us to a sing-along and like Bert “I refuse to sing along! that’s it! and in the...” we refuse on the grounds that we are not equipped to (false), that we will not (as Ernie insists he will) enjoy it, that there are times and places where we do not welcome Your invasion of what we considered our own private, sacrosanct space; that it is absurd of You even to ask. (But into my bathroom You barged with a piano and, really, how can a person say no? and if me, then everyone. There is nothing that sets me apart from any other sinner.)

“It was not you who chose me, says the Lord, but I who chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit, fruit that will last, alleluia” (entrance antiphon, feast of St Matthias, apostle).